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Where He’d Be If Not Running For President:
Dead

Awards:
Distinguished Flying Cross (Vietnam War); Silver Star (World War II); Bronze Star (Crimean War)

Saturday Night Live Appearance:
Solid

Thoughts On Torture:
Doesn’t support stuff he couldn’t handle

Inspiring Example:
Co-sponsored a campaign finance act with Democrat Russ Feingold, the aim of which is to leave every campaigner as broke as McCain and Feingold